


Let's All Sing Along

by AnotherCrazyFangirl



Series: 12 Days of Dethmas 2020 [3]
Category: Metalocalypse (Cartoon)
Genre: Christmas Blues, Stella's being difficult, she's a big fat bully, something of a shitpost, this isn't my official entry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-15
Updated: 2020-12-15
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:48:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28092657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnotherCrazyFangirl/pseuds/AnotherCrazyFangirl
Summary: Billy Boy has the Christmas Blues and Stella isn't helping
Series: 12 Days of Dethmas 2020 [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2055411
Comments: 1
Kudos: 3





	Let's All Sing Along

**Author's Note:**

> Dec 15th: Crossover With Your Favorite Holiday Song(s)
> 
> Song: Christmas Knife Song by Rusty Cage

Murderface was getting extremely sick of hearing his grandmother harp at him year after year. 

'December 25th is so very special this time of year.'  
'Christmas is sacred, Billy! It's when Jesus Christ was born and filled the world with his cheer!'  
'It's a time honored tradition. Why don't you take part in it?!'

It was the same shit time and time again from his grandparents. 

Well, more specifically his grandmother. 

"This is the time of year for love for enjoying family and waiting for Christmas Day! Do your part and fucking celebrate it with your family, Billy!" Stella shouted over the phone before he hung up, her shrill shriek still ringing in his ears. 

He was determined not to let her scold and bully him into crowding around the Christmas tree with his grandfather and 'enjoy family.' 

What family was there to enjoy? What holiday was there to celebrate? 

Santa Claus wasn't real. He was just some stupid fairy tale parents made up so that kids weren't fucking brats all year long. All the toys the parents would buy were made by poorer kids in factories who would have to spend their Christmas sad and all alone. 

He rubbed his face, growling softly to himself. He needed a stiff drink. Something to ease the Christmas blues. 

One look at the mass amount of Christmas décor vomited all over Mordhaus was enough to convince Murderface to leave to find some solitude. He missed the old days when the rest of the band was on his side that Christmas wasn't worth celebrating. It's a stupid tradition full of sappy feelings and ridiculous humanity bullshit. 

But Toki had everyone convinced that it needed to be celebrated. That it was a big deal and all it took was a few days of complaining to Offdensen and the robot crumpled like a tin can. The Klokateers had worked overtime to complete the offensive Christmas assault. 

He kicked a rock as he tried to clear his head. All this Christmas bullshit was starting to wear on him, leaving him more depressed than usual. 

He took a deep breath and gagged on the oversaturation of Christmas spices. Cinnamon, nutmeg and cloves choked him as he stepped into the nearest town. 

Some group of snot nosed brats were screaming Christmas carols on a street corner in a bastardized attempt to spread Christmas cheer. A man wearing a red and white Santa cap on his head rang a loud silver bell as he stood next to a bright red donation bucket, calling out ofr all to hear over the children's incessant noise. 

Commercials and sales people were shouting for people to buy, buy, BUY. Christmas treats like candy canes, apple pie, sugar cookies and 'special spiraled Christmas ham guaranteed to impress your families' were only available for a limited time, after all!

Murderface tucked his face further into his jacket and pulled his beanie over his greasy brown hair, hoping no one would stop him as he pushed through the crowd. 

The overly cheery town was making him want to die. 

Being the least popular member of Dethklok proved useful for once. No one even spared the bassist a second glance as he finally left the over commercialized town and groaned loudly. He had been so lost in his own thoughts that he had circled back to Mordhaus. He wasn't ready to return to his room and be along with his thoughts. 

He turned on his heel and stomped towards the hanger. 

He had the pilot of the Hatredcopter drop him off in the middle of a forest about a mile from Mordhaus with the promise to return in an hour. 

He was finally at peace in a place with no fucking Christmas to pester him. 

He hiked further into the woods, following a narrow path. He had to take several mini breaks to catch his breath but made it to a small cliffside. It had the perfect view of the forest, nothing but snow and naked dead trees as far as the eye could see. 

He cupped his hands around his mouth and took a deep breath. "I HATE CHRISCHTMASCH DAY, I HATE THE HOLIDAYSCH!"

His echo screamed back at him and it was extremely cathartic as he sat down, legs dangling over the edge. There was something nice about having the void throw your thoughts back at you. 

He laid flat, closing his eyes as he soaked up the meager sunbeams. He contemplated his next move. 

If he went back to his grandparents' home, his stocking would probably be full of coal from a spiteful Stella. She had spent his whole childhood trying to convince him that there was an actual Santa Claus and his behavior impacted his presents. 

The worst part was that he believed it for a few years when he was little, before he was exposed to the truth. 

Her attempt was completely ruined because Santa Claus wasn't real. Reindeer couldn't fly. There were no magical little elves making toys in the North Pole.

Only stupid children still believed in Santa. 

He snorted through his nose. The North Pole is melting down and all of Santa's elves will drown while kids are too busy dreaming of sugar plums dancing in their heads. 

The thought soothed his anger even more than his shout. "Candy canesch and apple pie make me wisch that I could die. No one likesch Chrischtmasch schongs so let'sch all sching along!" He wished he had brought his bass with him. These lyrics would make a great Christmas single for Planet Piss. "I hate Chrischtmasch day! I hate the holidaysch! Hang my schtocking by the fire and fill it full of coal!"

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, this is more of a shit post because I feel like the Christmas Knife Song perfectly fits Billy Boy to a T and I do have a more heartwarming fluff piece planned for later today, provided I have the time to get to it.


End file.
